So what do fathers do? To answer this question lets travel back in time to 1999 when (in my opinion) the best episode of Spongebob aired on television. In this episode, Spongebob does an amazing performance of the FUN song. However, the lyrics can be changed to form new meanings. Plankton did it so I thought I'd give it a try.
""F" is for Fathers who do things together. "U" is for U and me. "N" is for Nurturing and providing all the necessities.
How did I do? (I know, I probably shouldn't try out any songwriting careers). Either way, the content is still important.
First, fathers who do things together. Wholesome family recreation can lead to building strong families and relationships. Mark A. Widmer and Stacy T. Taniguchi wrote the following: "Wholesome family recreation can help us to strengthen our relationships and reduce negative emotional and spiritual consequences. Wholesome recreation strengthens families." Doing things together as a family will help you to learn more about each other and to have fun as well. Widmer and Taniguchi also said, "meaningful recreation does not just happen; it must be prepared for, cultivated, and privately defended." When fathers make the effort to plan these activities it can actually have a great influence on the children. This is because it is showing leadership. In a video called Today's Family: Fathers they stated: "Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has been so and always will be so. Fathers, with the assistance of counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home." Fathers are to preside or to be in a position of authority, over the family, with the assistance of their spouse. By presiding and leading wholesome family activities, fathers are helping raise well-developed children.
Second, you and me. Fathers should create a relationship between each of their children. Howard W. Hunter spoke on this in a talk called Being a Righteous Husband and Father. In this talk he said:
" Earn the respect and confidence of your children through your loving relationship with them. A righteous father protects his children with his time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities and responsibilities. Tender expressions of love and affection toward children are as much the responsibility of the father as the mother. Tell your children you love them."
Just as we have to earn the confidence and respect from others, we have to do the same with children. Also, to help build the relationship between you and your child, protect them in all aspects. When you protect the time you have with them, you are showing you care.
Third, nurturing and providing necessities. Most think of nurturing as something just for mothers. However, this assumption is false. Nurturing is a behavior that expresses caring. The purpose of a nurturing father is given in an article by Josh McCumber on the National Fatherhood Initiative website. McCumber says:
"The overall purpose of nurturing is not just to do but to connect in the moment. When engaging in nurturing behavior (i.e. express caring, give attention, train, or provide) the intention is to build a strong bond with a spouse or child. By investing in them, they will become more invested in me. That bond gives fathers credibility and transforms us into better men, better fathers. "
All three of these have one underlying similarity, building a relationship with the child. Fathers and mothers both have knowledge and life experiences to help the child learn and grow. When fathers and mothers work together to teach and raise children, the children benefit. The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children is a great resource to look at to determine all the benefits of active fathers and effects of inactive fathers.
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