To get a little personal I am going to let you in on our experience with this. Shocking for A LOT of people, Talon talked to my parents after only three months of dating. Before proposing to me, he knew that asking for my hand in marriage was important. He wanted my parent's approval before he took the steps of making me his. During this conversation, a lot of tears were shed (mostly from my mother) because they loved him, they knew that he would take care of me in all matters financially, emotional, and spiritually. My parents and Talon talked about several things, like how he would provide for our future family, if he loved me, why he loved me, and so much more. When they gave him their blessing they told him that he had their full support. They let him know how much they loved him and how excited they were to have him as a son-in-law. (I wasn't there when all this went down, so this is what I was told. So who knows maybe all three of them are just liars.) But seriously, I am very fortunate to have a husband that my parents love and accept.
In a talk given by Thomas B. Holman titled Choosing and Being the Right Spouse, he said the following:
"It is important to have family and friends on our side and supportive of the upcoming marriage, Elder Richard L. Evans (1906–71) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles advised. “Don’t let this choice [of a marriage partner] ever be made except with earnest, searching, prayerful consideration, confiding in parents, [and] in faithful, mature, trustworthy friends.”Loving parents who genuinely want the best for us, and “faithful, mature, trustworthy friends,” can often act as a sounding board and counsel us on how best to proceed."
Now that he had the approval from the parents the next step was to actually ask! (I am really glad I didn't have to do this because I would be wayyyy to afraid of rejection.) I will never forget the day Talon proposed to me, I even get teary-eyed thinking about it. He took me on a hike up this mountain that had such an amazing view. After looking out at the scenery for a while he bent down and one knee and opened a box (at first I was a little confused about what was going on, but when I saw that ring...I knew). Then he asked, "Will you marry me?" While he will say I didn't even let him finish, I didn't hesitate to answer his question. Actually, I think I just kissed him before I answered, but that's the same as a Yes, right?
This is just a tiny glimpse into our experience of getting engaged, it was a significant process that should be taken. While he did get the approval to ask me to marry him, it was my decision to actually to accept, not my families. I choose him. Just as he knelt on one knee, submitting himself to me, I said yes, giving myself to him---BY CHOICE.
Since marriage isn't always a breeze, when tough times come up I try to remember this. I choose him as my companion for time and all eternity. No matter what storms arise, he is the one I want to be with forever, so I need to act and treat him as such. Elder Lynn G. Robbins spoke about this concept in his talk Agency and Love in Marriage. In this address he said,
"Scripturally, the Lord is very clear with us on this doctrine—you can’t “fall out of love,” because love is something you decide. Agency plays a fundamental role in our relationships with one another. This being true, we must make the conscious decision that we will love our spouse and family with all our heart, soul, and mind; that we will build, not “fall into,” strong, loving marriages and families. “Don’t just pray to marry the one you love. Instead, pray to love the one you marry.”"
Again, I remind you, love is a choice. The person you marry is a choice. Make the conscious decision to love and respect your spouse. My husband is a wonderful man, but I still have to make the effort to love him with all my heart, soul, and mind. I chose him on the mountain that day and will continue to choose him every day for the rest of our lives.
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